"Write about what you know," has been the age-old advice for writers. Sometimes this works and sometimes writers choose a different path.
However, for daycare provider, blogger and writer, Debbie Yost, this advice is paving the way for her writing. Debbie appeared as a guest blogger on Home Biz Notes, a blog I co-author with Yvonne Russell at b5media. In a four-part series, Debbie provided information and suggestions for anyone who is considering a home daycare or currently is operating one.
Most of Debbie's suggestions also work well for owners of other businesses. Check out the post, In Home Daycare Business Series Roundup. Here you'lll find the links to all of Debbie's posts at Home Biz Notes.
What are you doing in your life that you can expand upon and write about...either for the print media or online? Make a list of "what you know" and see what will come from it.
I'd enjoy hearing how you make out.
(c)2008 Mary Emma Allen
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Tuesday, April 08, 2008
Karin Abarbanel & Birthing the Elephant Visit Home Biz Notes
Karin Abarbanel stopped by my b5 media blog, Home Biz Notes, during her April author tour of the blogosphere. In my post, A “Birthing The Elephant” Strategy To Business Success, you'll learn about this unique and very helpful book for women entrepreneurs. However, much of the information has general application for men and women and their businesses.
Subtitled, The woman’s go-for-it! guide to overcoming the big challenges of launching a business, Birthing the Elephant, encourages women to design their destinies and gives stories from real people who have become successful in business. In fact Bobbi Brown, owner of Bobbi Brown Cosmetics, writes the foreword.
If you have questions for Karin, about her book and business, leave them in the comments section of my post at Home Biz Notes. Also, post a comment and become eligible to win a free copy of Birthing the Elephant at the end of her tour! One lucky winner will be announced on April 30!
(c)2008 Mary Emma Allen
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
A Visit With Allison Bottke, Author of Setting Boundaries with Your Adult Children
Allison Bottke, author of Setting Boundaries with Your Adult Children, stops by Potpourri of Writing during her April Blog Tour. She's spreading the word about a topic she feels desperately needs to be addressed and leaves a message already striking a chord in hearts around the nation about adult children whose lives are out of control and who often come home to live.
MARY EMMA: Welcome, Allison, to Potpourri of Writing. Thank you for coming to share with us. Setting Boundaries with Your Adult Children comes out of your own personal experience with your son. Please tell us about that.
ALLISON: For years I really thought I was helping my son. I wanted him to have the things I never had growing up. I love my son, and I didn’t want him to hurt—but sometimes pain is a natural result of the choices we make. For a long time I didn’t understand the part I was playing in the ongoing drama that had become my son’s life—I didn’t understand that I didn’t have to live in constant chaos and crisis because of his choices. When I chose to stop the insanity and start living a life of hope and healing my life changed. It’s a feeling I want other struggling parents and grandparents to experience. I want other parents to know that change is possible when we choose to stop the destructive cycle of enabling. And we can stop it. I know, because I’ve done it.
MARY EMMA: Why do you think so many parents struggle with enabling their adult children?
ALLISON: We don’t understand the difference between helping and enabling, that one heals and the other hurts. We don’t realize that we handicap our adult children when we don’t allow them to experience the consequences of their actions.
MARY EMMA: How can we determine whether we are helping versus enabling our children?
ALLISON: Helping is doing something for someone that he is not capable of doing himself.
Enabling is doing for someone things that he could and should be doing himself.
An enabler is a person who recognizes that a negative circumstance is occurring on a regular basis and yet continues to enable the person with the problem to persist with his detrimental behaviors. Simply, enabling creates an atmosphere in which our adult children can comfortably continue their unacceptable behavior.
MARY EMMA: What are some of the most common ways that parents enable their children?
ALLISON: Being the Bank of Mom and Dad, or the Bank of Grandma and Grandpa. Loaning money that is never repaid, buying things they can’t afford and don’t really need. Continually coming to their rescue so they don’t feel the pain—the consequences—of their actions and choices. Accepting excuses that we know are excuses—and in some instances are downright lies. Blaming ourselves for their problems. We have given too much and expected too little.
MARY EMMA: What are some things that parents can do to break the cycle of enabling?
ALLISON: Follow the six steps to S.A.N.I.T.Y.: Stop blaming yourself and stop the flow of money. Stop continually rescuing your adult children from one mess after another. Assemble a support group of other parents in the same situation. Nip excuses in the bud. Implement rules and boundaries. Trust your instincts. Yield everything to God, because you’re not in control. These six things can start a parent on the road to S.A.N.I.T.Y. in an insane situation that is spinning out of control. However, a key issue in breaking the cycle of enabling is to understand whose problem it really is.
MARY EMMA: What does this book accomplish that other books on the topic do not?
ALLISON: Setting Boundaries with Your Adult Children will empower readers with a no holds barred six step S.A.N.I.T.Y. format, stating in black and white the parental behaviors that must STOP, along with identifying new habits to implement if change is to occur. Setting Boundaries with Your Adult Children will identify the false conceptions parents believe about themselves and their adult children and will counter each lie of captivity with the truth that setting boundaries is not only a good thing—but a vital part of hope and healing. True stories from other enabling parents and grandparents are woven throughout the chapters. Discussions with and observations from licensed psychologists and psychiatrists are also included.
MARY EMMA: Tell us about the S.A.N.I.T.Y. Support Group Network you founded. How can people get involved?
ALLISON: The “A” step in S.A.N.I.T.Y. is to ASSEMBLE a support group. This is a vital component in being able to look at our situations more objectively. We have developed a powerful Companion Study Guide that can be read individually or in a group setting. This Companion Study Guide contains all the information you need to conduct a S.A.N.I.T.Y. Support group in your neighborhood or community. Visit our web site here to find out more: http://www.sanitysupport.com/blogtourguests.htm.
MARY EMMA: Thank you, Allison, for visiting Potpourri of Writing during your blog tour. Is there anything you'd like to add?
ALLISON: I encourage your readers to tell me what they think about Setting Boundaries with Your Adult Children. I really do want to hear reader feedback. They can reach me at: SettingBoundaries@SanitySupport.com. Please be sure to visit our web site at http://www.sanitysupport.com/blogtourguests.htm where they will find additional resources for helping them on their road to S.A.N.I.T.Y. Remember to tell a friend in need and help save a life!
MARY EMMA: Welcome, Allison, to Potpourri of Writing. Thank you for coming to share with us. Setting Boundaries with Your Adult Children comes out of your own personal experience with your son. Please tell us about that.
ALLISON: For years I really thought I was helping my son. I wanted him to have the things I never had growing up. I love my son, and I didn’t want him to hurt—but sometimes pain is a natural result of the choices we make. For a long time I didn’t understand the part I was playing in the ongoing drama that had become my son’s life—I didn’t understand that I didn’t have to live in constant chaos and crisis because of his choices. When I chose to stop the insanity and start living a life of hope and healing my life changed. It’s a feeling I want other struggling parents and grandparents to experience. I want other parents to know that change is possible when we choose to stop the destructive cycle of enabling. And we can stop it. I know, because I’ve done it.
MARY EMMA: Why do you think so many parents struggle with enabling their adult children?
ALLISON: We don’t understand the difference between helping and enabling, that one heals and the other hurts. We don’t realize that we handicap our adult children when we don’t allow them to experience the consequences of their actions.
MARY EMMA: How can we determine whether we are helping versus enabling our children?
ALLISON: Helping is doing something for someone that he is not capable of doing himself.
Enabling is doing for someone things that he could and should be doing himself.
An enabler is a person who recognizes that a negative circumstance is occurring on a regular basis and yet continues to enable the person with the problem to persist with his detrimental behaviors. Simply, enabling creates an atmosphere in which our adult children can comfortably continue their unacceptable behavior.
MARY EMMA: What are some of the most common ways that parents enable their children?
ALLISON: Being the Bank of Mom and Dad, or the Bank of Grandma and Grandpa. Loaning money that is never repaid, buying things they can’t afford and don’t really need. Continually coming to their rescue so they don’t feel the pain—the consequences—of their actions and choices. Accepting excuses that we know are excuses—and in some instances are downright lies. Blaming ourselves for their problems. We have given too much and expected too little.
MARY EMMA: What are some things that parents can do to break the cycle of enabling?
ALLISON: Follow the six steps to S.A.N.I.T.Y.: Stop blaming yourself and stop the flow of money. Stop continually rescuing your adult children from one mess after another. Assemble a support group of other parents in the same situation. Nip excuses in the bud. Implement rules and boundaries. Trust your instincts. Yield everything to God, because you’re not in control. These six things can start a parent on the road to S.A.N.I.T.Y. in an insane situation that is spinning out of control. However, a key issue in breaking the cycle of enabling is to understand whose problem it really is.
MARY EMMA: What does this book accomplish that other books on the topic do not?
ALLISON: Setting Boundaries with Your Adult Children will empower readers with a no holds barred six step S.A.N.I.T.Y. format, stating in black and white the parental behaviors that must STOP, along with identifying new habits to implement if change is to occur. Setting Boundaries with Your Adult Children will identify the false conceptions parents believe about themselves and their adult children and will counter each lie of captivity with the truth that setting boundaries is not only a good thing—but a vital part of hope and healing. True stories from other enabling parents and grandparents are woven throughout the chapters. Discussions with and observations from licensed psychologists and psychiatrists are also included.
MARY EMMA: Tell us about the S.A.N.I.T.Y. Support Group Network you founded. How can people get involved?
ALLISON: The “A” step in S.A.N.I.T.Y. is to ASSEMBLE a support group. This is a vital component in being able to look at our situations more objectively. We have developed a powerful Companion Study Guide that can be read individually or in a group setting. This Companion Study Guide contains all the information you need to conduct a S.A.N.I.T.Y. Support group in your neighborhood or community. Visit our web site here to find out more: http://www.sanitysupport.com/blogtourguests.htm.
MARY EMMA: Thank you, Allison, for visiting Potpourri of Writing during your blog tour. Is there anything you'd like to add?
ALLISON: I encourage your readers to tell me what they think about Setting Boundaries with Your Adult Children. I really do want to hear reader feedback. They can reach me at: SettingBoundaries@SanitySupport.com. Please be sure to visit our web site at http://www.sanitysupport.com/blogtourguests.htm where they will find additional resources for helping them on their road to S.A.N.I.T.Y. Remember to tell a friend in need and help save a life!
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
Fact or Fiction? How Can We Be Sure?
I found an interesting post, More Literary Hoaxes, on Heather Goldsmith's blog, A Creative Journal. She discusses some of the current literary hoaxes, whereby writers have tried to pass off fictionalized accounts as memoir or autobiography.
I left a comment at Heather's blog, but thought I'd include my thoughts here. Since I write a great deal of memoir in my "Country Kitchen" newspaper column, I began to wonder if my readers would think I made all this up. I attended a writers' group the other evening, and when the discussion turned to memoir as a genre, many were shaking their heads, wondering what to believe anymore.
We begin to wonder what's true and what isn't, don't we? Of course, when you write about your life, you may find you don't recall incidents exactly like others who experienced them with you. But these usually are minor things. If you fictionalize too much, you'll be caught up on it sometime.
When I was taking a children's writing workshop, we had to write about an incident in our childhood. The instructor liked mine but gave suggestions for making it more exciting. Since those details were fabricated, I was uncomfortable about writing it this way. So he suggested I make it a fiction story, incorporating the fact with fabrication. This turned out very well and sold to several children's magazines and appeared in an anthology. (I retained the rights so I could sell reprint and anthology rights.) Fiction based upon fact can be fun to write, but it should be labeled as such.
What do you think?
(c)2008 Mary Emma Allen
I left a comment at Heather's blog, but thought I'd include my thoughts here. Since I write a great deal of memoir in my "Country Kitchen" newspaper column, I began to wonder if my readers would think I made all this up. I attended a writers' group the other evening, and when the discussion turned to memoir as a genre, many were shaking their heads, wondering what to believe anymore.
We begin to wonder what's true and what isn't, don't we? Of course, when you write about your life, you may find you don't recall incidents exactly like others who experienced them with you. But these usually are minor things. If you fictionalize too much, you'll be caught up on it sometime.
When I was taking a children's writing workshop, we had to write about an incident in our childhood. The instructor liked mine but gave suggestions for making it more exciting. Since those details were fabricated, I was uncomfortable about writing it this way. So he suggested I make it a fiction story, incorporating the fact with fabrication. This turned out very well and sold to several children's magazines and appeared in an anthology. (I retained the rights so I could sell reprint and anthology rights.) Fiction based upon fact can be fun to write, but it should be labeled as such.
What do you think?
(c)2008 Mary Emma Allen
Wednesday, March 05, 2008
Author Dyan Garris Tours Home Biz Notes
Author Dyan Garris stopped by Home Biz Notes today on her blog tour as she promotes her book, Money and Manifesting. She has a unique way of approaching the topic of making money.
"It is not enough to think positively, repeat affirmations, and attract positive energy. We must implement and integrate this learning into our daily lives. This is the real secret of manifesting money. It is the real secret of manifesting anything."
Learn more about Dyan's evolution as a businesswoman to author. She has an interesting story to tell and shares her ideas at Home Biz Notes and in her book.
"It is not enough to think positively, repeat affirmations, and attract positive energy. We must implement and integrate this learning into our daily lives. This is the real secret of manifesting money. It is the real secret of manifesting anything."
Learn more about Dyan's evolution as a businesswoman to author. She has an interesting story to tell and shares her ideas at Home Biz Notes and in her book.
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Blog Writing - For Fun, For Profit, For Promotion, For a Cause
Blog writing has taken off in the past few years and is used for various reasons. I'll mention a few of the reasons bloggers blog. Some of them interrelate.
FUN - Some bloggers write purely for fun, using their blog as an online journal. They may base much of their blogging around a particular theme, as my daughter does with her fabric art at Meandering Threads.
PROFIT - Bloggers write for pay, some for blogging networks, as I do for b5media, others for companies that need someone to maintain their blogs that provide information for customers.
If you'd like to see what it's like to blog for a network, check out my blogs at b5media (Alzheimer's Notes, Quilting and Patchwork, and Home Biz Notes).
PROMOTION - Authors are using blogs to promote their books and workshops; crafters promote their products on their web sites; businesses call attention to themselves and their products/services. You might not have a "store" on your blog, but you provide interesting information that will lead customers to your online and offline places of business.
A CAUSE - Bloggers write about topics that fire them up whether political, environmental, health, business, religious, as well as presumed and real slights and injuries. The blogosphere has become a powerful tool for people to voice their opinions and get their views across. Sometimes the power is used negatively, as well as positively.
I enjoy blogging, whether my personal blogs here at Blogger or those at b5media, so much that I teach workshops and give talks about Blog Writing so others can learn about this, too.
(c)2008 Mary Emma Allen
FUN - Some bloggers write purely for fun, using their blog as an online journal. They may base much of their blogging around a particular theme, as my daughter does with her fabric art at Meandering Threads.
PROFIT - Bloggers write for pay, some for blogging networks, as I do for b5media, others for companies that need someone to maintain their blogs that provide information for customers.
If you'd like to see what it's like to blog for a network, check out my blogs at b5media (Alzheimer's Notes, Quilting and Patchwork, and Home Biz Notes).
PROMOTION - Authors are using blogs to promote their books and workshops; crafters promote their products on their web sites; businesses call attention to themselves and their products/services. You might not have a "store" on your blog, but you provide interesting information that will lead customers to your online and offline places of business.
A CAUSE - Bloggers write about topics that fire them up whether political, environmental, health, business, religious, as well as presumed and real slights and injuries. The blogosphere has become a powerful tool for people to voice their opinions and get their views across. Sometimes the power is used negatively, as well as positively.
I enjoy blogging, whether my personal blogs here at Blogger or those at b5media, so much that I teach workshops and give talks about Blog Writing so others can learn about this, too.
(c)2008 Mary Emma Allen
Sunday, February 17, 2008
Highlighting Gary Maccagnone and St. John of the Midfield
As he tours the blogosphere this month to promote his book, St. John of the Midfield, Garasamo "Gary" Maccagnone stops off at Potpourri of Writing today. He also is the author of the children's book, The Suburban Dragon and the collection of short stores entitled, The Affliction of Dreams.
After pursuing a college baseball career, business and marketing careers, coaching youth soccer and writing, Gary has combined soccer and writing in St. John of the Midfield. The idea for this book came about after Gary met former Bulgarian national soccer player, Jordan Mitkov.
In a synopsis of the book, we learn this book is:
An almost mystical story of Bobo Stoikov, one of the world's greatest soccer players, who escaptes death in communist Bulgaria to find the American Dream. Due to severe injury during Bobo's escape, he is unable to play once he arrives in America.
Though he finds peace and happiness in simply coaching soccer to youth travel teams, his eccentric ways of teaching and his success lead to a hate-filled rivalry, and eventually, his death.
To read an excerpt, visit Pump Up Your Book Promotion Virtual Book Tours.
You can visit his website at http://www.garasamomaccagnone.com/.
Thomnpson also conducted an interview with Gary at The Writer's Life, February 15 posting.
May you have much success with your tour, Gary, and your book.
After pursuing a college baseball career, business and marketing careers, coaching youth soccer and writing, Gary has combined soccer and writing in St. John of the Midfield. The idea for this book came about after Gary met former Bulgarian national soccer player, Jordan Mitkov.
In a synopsis of the book, we learn this book is:
An almost mystical story of Bobo Stoikov, one of the world's greatest soccer players, who escaptes death in communist Bulgaria to find the American Dream. Due to severe injury during Bobo's escape, he is unable to play once he arrives in America.
Though he finds peace and happiness in simply coaching soccer to youth travel teams, his eccentric ways of teaching and his success lead to a hate-filled rivalry, and eventually, his death.
To read an excerpt, visit Pump Up Your Book Promotion Virtual Book Tours.
You can visit his website at http://www.garasamomaccagnone.com/.
Thomnpson also conducted an interview with Gary at The Writer's Life, February 15 posting.
May you have much success with your tour, Gary, and your book.
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